Woody wood wood pecker
out to work with his shiny beak striker
Strolling down the trail is a good ‘le hiker
Taking some photos for his followers on twitter
and some to post on tumblr
Mom: I don’t know what you guys are eating, your hands are so big!
Me: Well, you know what they say about people with big hands…..
The front door said to the back door
“you are nothing more than a gateway to the backyard”
The back door retorted,
“you are nothing more than a gateway to the frontyard”
The yard’s rebuttal was,
“this is my land, BITCHES”
How to for a sure fire awkward moment
experience an idea or something
liken the experience or idea to something else (which coincidentally could be synonymous with something sexual or denigrating to someone else)
Try to fix it but make it worse
Re-iterate how it all started from a pure thought
Person 1: (after experiencing someone scratch their back or head – what are they monkeys? - the exclaim to person 2), It’s cool to be able to touch yourself, but you know what’s way better, when someone else touches you, on this one occasion it is better to receive than to give.
Person 2: Wow!, I don’t really need to know what you do behind close doors
Person 1: (realizing how it can be construed), its not what you think, its just that this time I experienced …. (goes on to explain the scratch experience)
Person 2: And that’s what you were thinking when you were being itched by someone else, I feel so dirty even saying that. Just stop talking
Side-effects of awkward convos are
Laughing, cringing, spontaneous cringing when remembered, memory scold, silence, very awkward silence, walking away, loosing friends, forever alone,
and if you are a christian, in the moment you are about to re-explain the point of view you are coming from, your mind will go ahead and override you by warning you not to ruin your christian testimony some more.
girls can be crazy sometimes!!!. This girl dates a guy for a week and tattoos his face on her arm.
I get why sometimes this craziness ensues. Some chicks have been let down so many times, that when a guy they seem to click with (at least in the beginning) comes, they prop all their hopes and dreams that were failed before on him (Knight in shinning armor..), then you get this…
And the other girls (“friends”) are totally psychotic aiding and abetting (crazy cocoon)…
Click on the bottom shot to reveal like a facebook convo. I don’t know if its real though.
Taylor Swift collaborating to spoof a good song… I don’t know who the dude is.. but lolz.
Men will be boys
I watched you perform
a motion, reminiscent of moses’ fame
as you parted those bountiful,
beauteous mane in two
And beneath the soles
of the tips of your firm fingers,
lay those old phillistine souls
In their time,
they were supple, vivacious and with shine,
a fortitude and shield for the pores
Ah! my love,
my love has dandruff,
but so do I
Those old cells
bid your fair self
And I will try to close my mouth
when you let those flakes go
so that my waking breath
won’t take in those new rejects
But we both know
that they were sacrificed
for the freshly minted
Our love still remains though,
even tho, we both have dandruff
For it is another of our commanilities.